Test Drive Cadillac CTS 2013 - NV Sedan

Knindskaya Marilyn

Among our cinematographers, probably there is no person who would be better understood in cars than Ivan the troubled. And among people with gasoline in the blood - a man who shot the film with a car in the lead role. That is why the white dance of the Zaochanskaya Kinodiv chose it.
In principle, I do not like American cars. Therefore, giving agreement to sit for a week behind the steering wheel Cadillac CTS, I decided to keep the cleanliness of the experiment. I did not know anything about this particular car. I decided: let it be a sense of a person blindfolded. Here is a woman before you, you touch her and say: she is beautiful. Or frown: something is not very ...
 
THE FIRST DAY. When I went to the car, which was supposed to become my companion for a whole week, a cramolete melted in my head, but a very beautiful thought: such a Volga would have been, about which not one generation of our citizens dreamed - from the range of 60s to Boris Nemtsov , I wanted to transplant state councils on domestic cars. There is nothing wrong with this allegory. We always really wanted to be like Americans. That is why we don't love them so much. All our seagulls are the essence of American cars. Even Stalin's car is Packard, not Mayba or a fervor. Stalin watched American cinema endlessly, and from domestic actresses he liked the love of Orlova, Russian Marilyn Monroe. The leader watched the overseas cinema alone, and now we are watching it all together and plus our love for fairy tales. Only we have not implemented, and they are implemented. For example, Las Vegas is children's fantasies embodied in the form of a completely adult nonsense. And today we have such cottages today - in the form of lying hulliver.
 
Opening the door, I plunge on the driver's seat and looked around. The first feeling is really an American car, because they only have such big steering. The remaining items in the cabin are also huge. Handle to throw back the seat is big as shovel. The internal door opening hook is like a snowy man's palm. Further, this feeling disappears. Magnificent American disappears, someone unfamiliar look at you. As if the head of Cadillakov designers ordered: everything should be modestly, but tasteful. Really modestly happened. And about tastes it is customary to argue. There are many plastic. Slightly trees - still traces of what is Cadillac, remained.
 
I did not know what kind of engine under the hood, but when we went, the first thing I said, turning to my wife: this is about three hundred twentieth engine. Power, optimality, by sound. True, the engine is a bit noisy for such a car. In Cadillac, it should be quiet to be heard, as the pages of the magazine, which leafs your companion.
 
SECOND DAY. The first two days I traveled exclusively in the city and experienced a sense of perfect comfort, because in addition to Audi S8, I have all the cars with a handle. The box in Cadillac works exclusively. She is not athletic, but very correct. If you click kick-down, she reacts quickly, but smoothly. The power of the car is exactly as much as we need a rich in the midst. Exactly everything is calculated - no less. The stroke smooth, the suspension is very comfortable. She herself tells you that you can do with her and how to own it. And that I was pleasantly struck - the lack of a swing. Usually, the American car is a hammock that lulls you.
Boulevards, Rises - I always combine traffic jams, for like any normal Muscovite I know, for what translates can be done. In this car, I perfectly felt the dimensions, I even went to the borders, although the apron from Cadillac CTS is low.
 
In the evening of the same day I rode on the road, which is called the Krasnogorsk highway and consists of almost rally turns. I was waiting that in the first of them, the car will begin to make sounds like a donkey cry. You know, as it happens when it does not enter, the ass is not sticking there, where it is necessary ... Cadillac perfectly prescribed the trajectory, not even leaning, as if a German car with a professional half-rigged suspension was under me. It surprised me very much, and I admired this quality for the whole week of using Cadillac. Really - fantastic suspension! It made it only once when I traveled around a large stopper in the hint of a country highway. Maybe this happened because the car has passed one and a half ten thousand kilometers, and since this is a test car, it can be assumed that it was not particularly regretted.
 
By the way, I would have gone to my wife everybody. I am sure that a woman will easily find a common language with her. Plus there is a certain marmalade in Cadillac CTS, just the necessary woman. After all, for them, the car should be, on the one hand, practical and everyday, and on the other - a little elegant, a little fluffy, but not much, not vulgar. Please note: we have all women walk in jeans, but on heels. CTS is precisely such.
Day Three. On Thursday, I basically took guests in Cadillac who did not cease to be surprised by the presence in the car of all sorts of jokes, according to the number of which this Cadillac is a typical American. For example, when opening the door, the driver's seat departures back, facilitating the landing. The passenger who was sitting behind me with a screech tried to jump out of the car, because he pressed his knees. When I turned on the DRIVE position on the gearbox selector, then all the doors immediately stuck, and did not have time to sit down passengers ran around the car and knocked in the windows.
There, by itself, something opens, it closes here, next to something sticks ... It seems that you are not driven by a car, and it serves you yourself. As in the famous Kinononell Chaplin. Remember, Charlie's hero worked in a factory, where absolutely everything is automated, including feeding: the car itself shoved him into his mouth dish, slept, rubbed the napkin ...
 
On the steering wheel - wheel, adjusting the volume of the broadcast of music. The axis is not parallel to the steering wheel, but addressed to the driver, and as if the coin on the ram is twist. In fact, I never listen to music in the car, but in this car listening is not too interesting in this car, so I turned on the audio system. The sound from the speakers was squeezed purely American. In a fatty such thankloom, as if I clicked on the Loudness button, when everything is exacerbated - low tones, high - and there is a sharp one like ketchup, feeling.
 
DAY FOUR. On Saturday, I specially drove to my friend, who traded American cars at the dawn of his business life. Seeing that I drove on a white Cadillac, he shook his head: I expected something from you anything, but not that. He did not know that I took this car to ride. He thought I was crazy.
The steering column in CTS is not regulated by departure, but at my height felt behind the wheel quite comfortably. A friend in which the approximately meter ninety, climbed inside, sat, looked around ... This is not an American car, "he said and went out.
 
Here is an American car, "he pointed out towards the chest named Lincoln Navigator. - None of the European firm in the model range is nothing like this. Where else can I plunge with six friends and go under Nizhny Novgorod to hunt or in Yahroma fish? And here is a big car, in a lot of people sit inside. I hold it one hand, and she herself rides.
 
I understand this point of view. Everyone must do their job. In this sense, Cadillac CTS in my opinion did not get too much in the target, whose name is the Russian consumer.
My friend Serge Mazaev, the leader of the Moral Code group, is Cadillac. Old Cadillac, two-door, big, with sofas! With velvet upholstery, as I call it. Ahead you can sit in the threesome. He is all silent on the go. It does not want to go on it quickly: after all, we do not drive anyone, we just slip in a state of absolute rest. When he unfolds, it seems that the panorama of the terrain saves in front of you. Large, wide thing for large ass. Absolutely nothing like this in my cadyllary cannot be felt.
Another Cadillac was in Moscow at Kobzon. If I'm not mistaken, de Ville. In some non-human year, maybe in the 1975th. Kobzon and Cadillac are the perfect combination: the first voice of the country and the plumbing machine.
After all, the name of Cadillac obliges. Listen to how this word sounds pompously, how much it causes associations with a full bourgeois life. If the new Cadillac was all lacquered, and even with gilded bumpers, then, I think he would look much more to our public. After all, America for the majority of us is primarily Kitych. And because the American car is a big thing: black outside, allay inside. Like calica. I'll buy it and I will lie in the back seat. And this Cadillac is neither there.
 
Fifth day. On Sunday, I went to the cottage to my friends, almost a border of the Moscow region, and therefore could try CTS in more lively, in terms of speed, mode. Although with all his love for sporting style driving I do not drive quickly. Accelerate - yes, but drive - no. Maybe the fact that I have a fairly clear idea, at what speed what responsibility comes.
Up to a hundred kilometers per hour, with a forced start, acceleration at my cadillac is quite active. But the second hundred is very sluggish. And therefore, during overtones, the Minsk highway felt felt that with all his horsepower it was still not a sports projectile.
 
At speed, the car behaves steadily, but more than 180 km / h I did not go on it. I do not trust such machines at high speeds. Plus considerations of practicality. 160-170 km / h is quite enough. For at a speed of 200 km / h, you will constantly slow down, and as a result, the average speed you will have below. There are, for example, people who climb in the bath at a temperature of 140 degrees. There is nothing more harmful in the world: in the bath the temperature should be a maximum of ninety. In addition, we have no West. I have just been in Germany, where a friend got me on the autobahn on the six hundred Pulman. He drove 220 km / h and at the same time a distance from ahead of the car was seven-eight meters. In Russia, even at 180 km / h, I would not approach closer than fifty. There everyone understands that the likelihood of emergency braking or someone's sharp jump on your strip is negligible and therefore the context of motion is completely different.
Before the speed of 140-150 km / h, Cadillac brake is simply wonderful. The progression begins on, like Valery Brumber, who took two ten, before that raising the bar each time for five centimeters, and after the expense there was almost almost millimeters. Indeed, only very few brake machines after 180 km / h react adequately situations. For example, at my own pillars, they work at 200 km / h, as the normal car - at eighty.
However, I guess I am unfair. As those familiar, what looking to once on my Ferrari Dino, wrinkled forehead: Well, you won't go to her hunt. By the way, today, at the sight of some jeep, they smile in condescendingly: two hundred and twenty it will definitely not go.
 
There are cars that, like powerful animals, require that you allow them all the time to be gallop. Cadillac CTS You cannot argue, it is not for this.
Day sixth. Returning the car to the rightful owners, I thought about what. Somehow, we talked about rags with one Frenchman, and he told me a wonderful phrase: you are fashionable to dress up Americans. And we dress in what we like.
 
Our car is still subject to demonstration, who I am and who are you. Although why only with us?
In Germany, let's say, there are people who go to Mercedes, and there are people who go to BMW. This is essentially two different nations. These are montextures and cabbage, white and red roses. In addition, there are citizens who go to the Opel and wear Salamander's shoes. They have no less money. They just buy a conditionally reliable and inexpensive car. But life is alone! You can have a stale bread all the time, buying fresh, but lay it on tomorrow. And you can eat fresh, not worrying about tomorrow and getting pleasure from life.
For example, I never bought Volvo in my life. For me, it is the most boring car in the world - and as a set of nodes and aggregates, and as an image. In all American paintings, an intellectual, a doctor, the writer ride Volvo. Immediately can be seen, it is a decent, who read a thick man. And I say that this is a person who enjoys the demonstration of the fact that he is not any bourgeois or broccoline mafiosi who buy Ferrari. He demonstrates that he respects in a person does not harmonize the shape, but the mind. And who forbidden to be harmonious in every sense? Therefore, for me, this is a demonstration of your own chandeliness. And the question is not in the money here. After all, you can buy an inexpensive car, but necessarily with character, with charisma.
 
I can buy a glass of Portwine and get a great pleasure, drinking it. And I can cut off a piece of sala and drink mogon. These are different pleasures. I liked blondes with big breasts, a little waist and a big ass in my life twice in my life. But so I love thin brunettes. To enjoy your own car, you sometimes need to try another, including oven, with big breasts.
The current Marilyn Monroe learned German, faced himself a diet, washed away cosmetics and went to conquer the old light. Only her ship to Europe did not fall asleep, but he tried to leave anchor somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
Text Ivan Dyukovichny, photos of Maxim Gudkov.
Ivan Dyukovichny. 56 years old. Actor, director, screenwriter. Graduate Schukinsky School, played in the theater on Taganka. He removed the full-length films a black monk, a buzz, music for December, a penny. Personal cars - Audi S8, BMW M3, PORSCHE 911.
Cadillac CTS. The premiere of the car took place at the Los Angeles Motor Show in August 2001. Cinema - in the movie The Matrix Reloaded. Engine - V6 volume of 3.2 liters, 218 hp The maximum speed is 230 km / h. Acceleration to hundreds - 7.7 sec. Price in Moscow from $ 49 thousand
 

Source: "Autopilot"